And allow yourself to live right now?
Table of Content
Let’s be honest: It would be strange not to worry about the future at all. It’s okay if anxiety about failing an exam prompts you to sit down to study ,the fear of not being the person you’ve always dreamed of – to make a plan to reach your goal, and anxiety about your health prompts you to get a checkup on time. But if you can’t sleep at night, eat properly, and do the usual things, that’s a problem.
"Re-evaluating Exposure"
Psychologists Daniel Gilbert and Timothy Wilson believe that when thinking about the future, we often overestimate the intensity of its impact on us. For example, we think that if we win the lottery we will be happy for the rest of our lives, but if we experience a breakup we will be infinitely unhappy. Certainly both of these events will affect us in the moment, but in the long run we overestimate their impact on us.
So when thinking about the future, it’s worth remembering that it won’t be “infinitely bad or good.” It will be different. The difference is whether we can control something or not. If we can prepare for the coming event now, that’s what we should focus on, and if not, don’t deprive ourselves of the joys of the present.
"No" to negative thinking
Sahar Motakef, a specialist in cognitive behavioral psychotherapy, says, “We often resort to negative thinking to protect ourselves. But it doesn’t help in any way. Playing out a bad scenario over and over again only traumatizes us and worsens our current condition.”
When we do this, it’s as if we’re trying to anticipate all the possible scenarios, and we think that this way we can prepare for them. But in reality, you can’t predict your reactions and feelings, which means you can’t alleviate pain in advance. But you can easily hurt yourself in the moment. So it is better to abandon this method.
Talk to your loved ones
It is not necessary to indulge in troubling reflections with others, but it is a good method to help yourself. Saying out loud the reasons not to worry, we ourselves relax and stop focusing on the upcoming events. In addition, a sense of community also helps cope with anxiety.
Magical control
One way to deal with anxiety is to begin to control what is available to us. That’s why it’s so often advised to take up cleaning: when we put things in their proper places in our personal space, we’re in charge. Driving also helps: concentrating on the road is the same control. This effect carries over to the rest of our lives, so it becomes easier for us in general.
Concentrating on the present.
“What can I do right now?” – concentrating on the present really helps. The present is our zone of control. If you can only breathe right now, breathe! That way you’ll at least trigger the parasympathetic nervous system, which relaxes you in the moment.
Take a walk, do physical activity, go out with friends, even if it’s difficult. Freezing with fear is a natural reaction, but it’s not the most optimal one. Give yourself permission to live today, now. Act if you can make a difference, and if not, don’t take away from the current moment.
